My head is hurting, and I think I know why: Lindsay Lohan just became the voice of reason on the issue of Sarah Palin’s daughter’s pregnancy. Pretty soon tigers will be lying with antelopes.

Here are five things to do today:

CLUBS - modeselektor + Ellen Allien
The playful, beat-wrecking juggernaut modeselektor joins forces with the chillier Ellen Allien in what might be the coolest arty-techno gig of the year. Allien is riding high on SOOL, her fifth solo album, and modeselektor has a recent remix collection out following on the terrific Happy Birthday record. If you want a little slice of Mitte nightlife, this one is not to be missed. 9pm. Sonotheque, 1444 W Chicago Ave. 312-226-7600, sonotheque.net. El: Blue to Chicago. Bus: 9 Ashland (24hrs), 66 Chicago (24hrs). $15.

DANCE - Natya Dance Theatre: Discover Bharatanatyam 
Natya’s artistic director Hema Rajagopalan will explain many things about the 2,000-year-old form of Indian classical dance—including the meanings of some of the intricate hand gestures called mudras—during this event, which includes live demonstration by her company members. You’ll walk away with a sense of rasa, “the aesthetic experience that transforms the audience.” 12:15pm. Harold Washington Library, Cindy Pritzker Auditorium, 400 S State St (Plymouth Court entrance) at Congress Pkwy (312-747-4300). El: Red, Blue to Jackson; Orange, Brown, Pink, Purple (rush hrs) to Library. FREE!

GAY & LESBIAN - Xiu Xiu
Queer frontman Jamie Stewart brings his band of indie experimentalists to town to promote their newest album "Women as Lovers." 8pm. Bottom Lounge, 1375 W Lake St between Ada St and Ogden Ave (312-666-6775). El: Green, Pink to Ashland. Bus: 9 Ashland, 20 Madison (24hrs). $15.

MUSIC - Blockbuster Week: Andrew Bird
The park’s annual Blockbuster Week kicks off with a free performance by Bird. Listen as the quirky multi-instrumentalist and native Chicagoan adds singing and whistling elements to his music, not to mention support from guitars and a glockenspiel. Local Afro-beat act Occidental Brothers Dance Band International opens. 6:30pm. Millennium Park, Pritzker Pavilion, 205 E Randolph St between Michigan Ave and Columbus Dr (312-742-1168). El: Red to Monroe; Blue to Washington; Orange, Green, Brown, Pink, Purple (rush hrs) to Randolph. Bus: 3, 4 (24hrs), 14, 124, 145, 157. FREE!

SPORTS & REC - Bike Polo Pickup
That’s right: bike polo. Using the same mallets and balls as the guys who play on horseback, the Chicago Bike Polo group hopes you’ll bring your two-wheeler out to the park to join other cycling enthusiasts for a friendly three-on-three. It’s open play, but there’s talk of forming a league. Locations may change, so be sure to check the site before heading out. 6:30pm. Garfield Park, 100 N Central Park Ave at Washington Blvd (myspace.com/chicagobikepolo). El: Green to Conservatory. Bus: 20 Madison (24hrs), 82 Kimball-Homan. FREE!